By Scott Bowden
June 23, 2005
KFR Heat Lamp: Edge and Lita tie us in knots with the Hardy tease, while Scott Levy’s NWA World title win gives Scott Bowden something to rave about. Also on the Heat Lamp this week: WWE Legends don’t die—they just come back as action figures, and Bowden questions whether the WWE dress code suits the boys.
Wedded Blister: As expected, Kane just couldn’t hold it (his peace, that is) during the worked wedding of Edge and Lita on Monday’s RAW, destroying the set before administering a Tombstone piledriver on the priest. I can understand Kane’s frustration with the padre, one of the worst skit actors to ever appear on RAW (which is saying a lot), but if you’re going to deliver a piledriver — especially on a civilian — the result had better look like attempted murder. Kane’s Tombstone Monday showed so much light (i.e., it looked fake), you had to look away from the screen on the replay.
The best thing you can say about the skit was that it was slightly more entertaining than you might have expected, despite Matt Hardy’s return being dangled above us like the IC title during a Ladder Match before being snatched away. While COMICS 101 Prof. Scott Tipton was moved to change the channel after the mean-spirited Hardy tease, I have to assume that perhaps Vince McMahon has reached a deal with Hardy to return. (Hmmm…maybe that’s why Hardy continues to put over the failed relationship and perform skits on his Internet show in which he runs over a photo of Lita with a car.) I’ve believed for years that if you suspect anything about the business is a work, then it probably is.
Hell, I was in denial for a few years following the Bret Hart screwjob in Montreal, thinking it must have been an elaborate work. I’ve seen and read too much since to hold onto my initial theory, and now concede that in all likelihood McMahon, Earl Hebner, Shawn Michaels and even Trips (I know he hates to be left out) screwed Bret that fateful night in 1997.
Another notable example: I never for a second was swerved by the Kevin Sullivan/Brian Pillman “booker man” angle in WCW; however, I did find it entertaining, as the former “Flyin’ Brian” was really onto something with his loose-cannon role. I would have loved it if Pillman had stuck to the plan he’d reportedly discussed with Terry Funk about handcuffing himself to the goalposts during the Super Bowl.
That being said, while I don’t think the Lita/Edge/Hardy situation has been a well-conceived, carefully guarded work this entire time, I do believe a feud is forthcoming. Yes, I’ve considered whether or not the whole thing’s been a work, which I’ve documented here previously. After all, what better way than to stir up the hardcore marks who follow the business on the Web than by creating a vicious Internet rumor that will eventually reach fans at the live arenas because of the repeated chants of “slut” directed toward Amy Dumas’ character. (Hmmm…why else has WWE creative continued to force Lita to conduct babyface interviews before a live TV audience?)
As a comparison, look to another entertainment field: the buildup for THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT in 1998. (I know many of you hate the Hollywood comparison, but that’s what the McMahons — and the boys themselves — love to compare their product to nowadays). The legend of the Blair Witch slowly built over the Internet because of a studio-produced Web site hyping the disappearance of the three documentary workers, despite the fact that true film aficionados had heard about the film months prior because of its success at the Sundance Film Festival. Believe it or not, several filmgoers entered the theater to see THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT during its initial wide release thinking this was actual footage of a documentary gone wrong, including the terrified girlfriend of one my good friends. (Incidentally, he was aware that it was all a work beforehand — to this day, he swears it was the best time he’s ever had at the movies, watching his girl freak out during the entire show.)
Is WWE capable of pulling off such a foolproof shoot angle in today’s climate? Not bloody Sheepherder likely. My guess is that initially Matt was legit pissed over the shoot affair between Edge and Lita, but now cooler heads have prevailed for the sake of doing business. As I’ve stated so many times before, personal issues draw money and this won’t be the first and last time such an incident has been turned into an angle. (The Missy Hyatt, Eddie Gilbert and John Tatum love triangle in the UWF immediately comes to mind.) Dave Meltzer of THE WRESTLING OBSERVER reacted to the Matt Hardy video in his Tuesday online column, writing “If WWE doesn’t have a new deal with Matt Hardy, then they've lost their minds.” Likewise, if Hardy keeps bitching about it on his Web site without the potential of making money off of it (sorry, this is a strange, twisted business) then perhaps he’s lost his as well.
All that aside, while the “boring” chants during the Lita/Edge nuptials were telling (we’ve seen wrestler weddings end in chaos too many times to be effective or really entertaining), the video highlighting their romance was pretty damn funny, as were Lawler’s comments about Lita’s dress being “so classy, so classy.”
Although the logic behind the Kane/Lita union was nonexistent for months, at least the self-proclaimed “slut of the century” has at least tried to explain the whole convoluted angle in her recent interviews (which have been spot-on slutty...in a most brilliant way). I only hope the Big Red Machine’s program with Edge ends Sunday at VENGEANCE, opening the door for Hardy.
A real knee-slapper: At the risk of sounding overly negative, I really dislike Batista’s knee-slap/simulated machine gun entrance a little more each week. I’ve read the recent online interview making the rounds in which he says every time he’s intro’d as World champ, he’s on Cloud 9, and it’s hard not to like the guy. Batista obviously loves the biz and has worked his ass off to improve, but that entrance, in my opinion, really looks downright silly, especially for a guy who’s supposed to be an intense Animal. Not every character needs to be so showy. To me, it’s akin to forcing all the boys to wear suits — not only when traveling but also apparently during TV interviews. (I understand the desire for professionalism and giving the business an air of legitimacy … but that’s a bit hypocritical given the nature of storylines involving performers like Big Vis, the Divas and Hurricane & Rosey. )
It was funny two weeks on RAW when the dress clothes of Kurt Angle, Ric Flair and Trips were all drenched in sweat about one minute into their angle. It was especially funny when Angle was in Trips’ face, trying to show that he wasn’t intimidated or scared…and then the camera pulls back to see Angle sweating bullets in those clothes.
Making the boys uncomfortable during their travels is probably bad enough of an idea — forcing them to wear suits despite the nature of their character makes it even worse. Can you imagine Mick Foley, The Rock and Steve Austin coming out in suits every week during their money-making runs in the late ’90s?
The stuff of legends: To reconnect with older fans turned off by today’s product, WWE officially signed a group of 25 past wrestling greats as part of its Legends Program, with plans to market their images to coincide with the releases of action figures, books and T-shirts, along with past matches that appear on DVD, the online Match Jukebox and WWE 24/7. Those already signed include Roddy Piper, Jerry Lawler, Paul Bearer and former WWE(FF) champion Superstar Billy Graham.
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This is a wise move on WWE’s part for many reasons, specifically because fans who were kids/teens during the late ’70s and ’80s (like me) now have disposable steady income, and Gen-X has already proven to be a sentimental bunch based on the popularity of everything retro the last 10 years. Not only do we like to be reminded of our childhood, but many of us also feel disconnected for the direction the business has taken. Really, it’s a way to get us hooked all over again, in hopes that perhaps we’ll get our kids hooked as well. (Who handles WWE’s marketing efforts nowadays … Big Tobacco?) Anyway, it’s a great situation for the boys and the fans — and if the McMahons happen to make a buck or two (cough) so be it. Me? I’m waiting for my classic Jerry Lawler (complete with crown-shaped goatee) and Bruiser Brody figures in January 2006.
That’s So Raven: The first time I saw Scott Levy on Memphis wrestling from the WMC-TV Studios on Union Ave., I suspected that he might be destined for stardom. Like myself, Scott grew up on comic books and wrestling, deciding at an early age that he’d grow up to be a wrestler. In early 1988, when he debuted in Memphis as Scotty the Body, I’d already been smartened up enough to realize that top-heel Eddie Gilbert wouldn’t have included the young upstart in his feud with Jerry Lawler if he hadn’t seen some kind of spark in Levy’s eyes. The setup: Gilbert had been out for weeks selling a Lawler fireball, submitting taped interviews for weeks swearing revenge, while wearing an Elephant Man-style mask … wonderfully creepy stuff. During a Lawler bout at the Mid-South Coliseum, a masked figure interferes only to be revealed to be Scotty the Body — not Gilbert, who was now able to sneak up behind a preoccupied Lawler and attack the King. The following week on TV, Levy, wearing a neckbrace to sell a Lawler piledriver he’d earned for his trouble, crumbles under interrogation from announcer Lance Russell (I stood up much better to Lance during my Memphis debut) and admits he interfered in Lawler’s bout because Gilbert had promised him a date with Missy Hyatt. Levy was great as the nervous kid awestruck in Hyatt’s presence (hell, it might have been a shoot).
Scotty was crushed when the only smack on the cheek Hyatt gave him was an open hand. Even Lance looked sorry for Levy, as he hunkered off. (In hindsight, Levy has to realize he’s better off without Hyatt.)
Anyway, kudos to Levy for establishing his Raven character over the years, culminating with an NWA World title win at TNA’s PPV Sunday.
I don’t know this to be a fact, but if Levy grew up a fan in the ’70s and early ’80s, then it has to be a bit of a thrill to hold the 10 pounds of gold he saw on legends like Harley Race, Dusty Rhodes and Ric Flair. It sure seemed to do a lot for Jeff Jarrett. Some say Raven isn’t World championship material, and perhaps that’s true from a traditional standpoint. However, the times have changed — if you don’t believe me, look at Batista and John Cena in WWE. I’d say Levy is more deserving of a World title run than those two — if anything, because he’s certainly paid his dues. And Raven’s work on the mic, especially in his ECW run, has been consistently good (borderline classic), much better than anything the two current WWE champs have done. (Admittedly, Cena has a chance to surpass Raven on the mic before it’s all said and done.)
And, for what’s it worth, Scott, I really enjoyed that Spider-Man story you wrote a few years ago, finally letting us marks know what happened to Crusher Hogan. That’d been bugging me for years.
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