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Sand Crabs -- Fox's THE O.C.

By Chris Ryall

August 5, 2003

I wonder if people in DALLAS had a similar reaction to the show by that name back in the `80s as people in Orange County, California are having to Fox's THE O.C. (premiering tonight at 9 PM). Recent area newspaper articles have decried the shallowness of the show, complained that it offers a very narrow view of "the" O.C. (the article is also very troubling, it seems.) The show, which focuses on rich, spoiled kids in Newport Beach, ignores surrounding areas like Santa Ana or Fountain Valley, both areas heavy with racial diversity. Me? I lived in Newport Beach for years and was born and raised in Orange County (we also never called it "the" O.C. but so what? I don't look to Fox, home of MARRIED WITH CHILDREN and FASTLANE, for realism). I'm just mostly upset that I never saw rich, spoiled and hot people like the ones on this show. I mostly saw surf punks and typical grungy beach-goers, but we all know that Fox doesn't worry about things like reality in their shows (nor should they, really).

The show, which hasn't taped an iota in O.C. (beach scenes are shot in another former home of mine, Hermosa Beach, an L.A County spot about a half-hour south of Los Angeles), isn't offensive to Orange County-dwellers as much as it is inane. But let's take this from the top.

The show opens in the 909, which is area-code trashtalkin' that people who live in the "inland empire," which is areas like Chino and Corona (the home of many crystal meth labs, it's a little less refined, rougher and more cow-laden than other areas of O.C. I'd love to read what Chino newspapers are saying about this show, since their neighborhood is portrayed as this rundown land of strip malls and broken-down cars, not the farming community it really is) with a couple brothers jacking a car and promptly getting busted. The older brother is tossed into the clink since he's a repeat offender, but his younger brother, Ryan Atwood (played by Benjamin McKenzie, who looks like a young Russell Crowe), is a good student who his lawyer, Sandy (played by Peter Gallagher's eyebrows), takes a liking to. Sandy had a similarly rough youth and thinks he understands this kid, who's from about as white trash a family as possible. Ryan's trashy, boozin' mom, who plays like an outtake from 8 MILE, kicks the kid out. Nowhere to turn and an angsty song from PHANTOM PLANET setting the stage, dials Sandy's number. Sandy shows up in his BMW 5-series and takes the kid away from the strip malls of Chino into the Newport Beach highlands.

Sandy's wife is typically against the decision and the effect that this bad seed might have on her goofy kid, Seth. Meanwhile, Ryan, dressed in bratty leather jacket over hoodie and smoke in his mouth, meets the hot next-door neighbor, Marissa (Mischa Barton) who bums a smoke off him (in THE O.C., that marks her as a bit of a rebel, same as it does Ryan). Marissa has a boyfriend, like every other TV boyfriend, a bit of an arrogant dick, who takes as much an immediate dislike to Ryan as she does a liking (how's that for an awkward sentence?). Yet it's clear she's smitten with the trashy kid from across the tracks (technically, up the 55 freeway and out the 91 east, but that's beside the point). Trouble...can you feel it?...is about to ensue.

Ryan meets Seth, the introverted, videogame-playing son of Sandy, who first complains that there's nothing to do in Newport and then is out on a catamaran with Ryan in the next scene. As I say, those of us who lived on the Newport Beach peninsula, as opposed to the foofy back bay, lived a very different kind of existence. Boogie boards, yes, but fancy catamarans, nah.

Anyway, Seth is the guy that the "cool" kids pick on. Meanwhile, Marissa's invited Ryan to a fashion show of some kind, which is where you just know he'll get his ass kicked by Marissa's boyfriend. Sandy starts playing father to Ryan, helping him tie ties and such, but Ryan is a bit resentful. Does all this sound very ponderous? It's like this: Sandy wants an outgoing son since his own is a bit of an introvert; Seth wants this party girl named Summer, who doesn't know he's alive since he's a dork and she's a rich party girl; Marissa, whose mom is a rich, shallow bitch and whose dad has a bit of a problem with the law, wants a guy who isn't a stuffy, spoiled mess like everyone else on the show, and Marissa's boyfriend just wants to beat up anyone who's different, especially if they're from...gasp...Chino. Sounds like a typical Fox storm a-comin'!

The kids leave the fashion show to go to some rich-kid party filled with all beautiful people, taking off their clothes and doing coke and, you know, partying like they're at Blaine's house in PRETTY IN PINK. Or maybe Dennis Rodman's in Newport Beach. Anyway, Marissa's boyfriend sneaks another girl down to the sand (if his attitude doesn't mark him as a dick, his cheating ways hopefully will. Subtlety, thy name is not THE O.C.) but not before Ryan sees it. See, Ryan wants Marissa who has a boyfriend and Seth wants Summer who wants Ryan but Seth's a geek and the party is filled with props from every head shop in Southern California and...yep, this is a Fox show, alright. Sigh...Summer is drunk and falls on Ryan, but Seth sees this and of course misconstrues it and yells at Ryan to go back to Chino. Summer, suddenly lucid, says "Chino? Eew." Cue the ass-kicking.

Ryan and Seth both get in a brawl with Marissa's boyfriend (who punctuates a kick to the stomach with "Welcome to the O.C., bitch! This is the way we do things in Orange County." No, this is the way you do things on Fox. Orange County, birthplace of Richard Nixon and the Disney Mighty Ducks, isn't exactly known for being a rough-and-ready place (certainly no one from there ever makes such ridiculous statements so close to L.A. "Oh yeah? Well, this is the way we do things in L.A." -- BANG!). It's like the show's writers listented to some of the faux posturing people on reality shows pull and tried to emulate that here.

Have you seen this story before? Of course. You know the guy that's not from the "in" place and not part of the "in-crowd" will of course be the most moral, the most normal and eventually the coolest person on the show. Women will want him, dorks will want to be him, idiots will want to kick his ass. The thing that differs between a show like this and, say, other teen soaps like 90210 or DAWSON'S CREEK is that the characters were at least minimally more well-drawn than they are here. And things didn't seem quite so predictable on those shows (Seth's mom typically blames Ryan for the fight that the kids got into). This show has really no one that's not an easy stereotype, and no one you really have any vested interest in. So far, the character arcs all look like straight lines, but in all fairness, it is just the first show

You want to hear the worst part about this show? The very worst thing about it? It's this--I just know I'll watch it again. It's such a simple, detestably simple, formula, the "guy from the wrong side of the tracks teaches the people from the right side to be more human," and yes, dammit, it works almost every time. I know now that I'll at least check in on it to make myself cringe. I'll admit this while also knowing I won't regularly watch CSI, ALIAS or any number of more deserving shows. That's one more thing Fox does well. They bring you back for more, no matter how much you dislike yourself the next day. Welcome to the O.C., bitch, indeed.

Fox's THE O.C. premieres tonight, August 5 at 9:00 PM.

Next Week: CBS's THE BROTHERHOOD OF POLAND, N.H.

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